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Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these
days you will come across the right person, the
one you will make the greatest romantic connection
with. But does it feel like you are going nowhere
and believe that you just have no luck with meeting
the right people? Feel like you are lost and doomed
in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry
for yourself!
The reality of this situation is that luck has
nothing to do with it. If you are like many people,
you are probably dating blindfolded, without even
realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful
and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then
it is time for you to take a few steps back to
see where things went wrong for you. Think you
have been doing everything right? Think again!
If you look back, you will be surprised to learn
that you got so caught up in just the whole dating
experience, that you forgot what to look out for
and neglected your true needs and desires. What
are you really looking for in a lover? What are
your needs and desires? What qualities are important
for a person to have and what other qualities
are you willing to compromise with and accept?
Getting back in touch with what you are really
looking for will help prevent you from staying
in the dating scene forever. It is essential that
you observe your actions and decisions, making
sure that you do not continue to date certain
people in the name of dating. If you find that
you are not sharing the connection you crave with
a person, then you must discontinue with dating
that person. Sure, you will feel bad for hurting
that persons feelings, but what you must remember
is that there is nothing too personal or emotional
between the two of you anyway, so just throw that
excuse out- and just break it off, in a polite
manner of course! This is where so many get stuck,
mistaking casual trial dates, with a personal
and emotional relationship. This may sound too
business-like for your taste, but this is the
way it goes in the real world of dating. If you
spend your time trying to spare people hurt or
disappointment, then you have been doing it all
wrong. This does not mean that you have to be
harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have
to make finding the right person a first and high
priority for, not worrying about what other people
with think of you.
Which moves us to the next essential point in
dating. While it is normal that you fix yourself
up to make a great impression on your date, it
is not the most important thing that you should
focus on. In fact, so many dating singles out
there worry so much about what their date will
think, that they totally forgot the purpose of
the date- to find out whether or not they will
find the connection they are seeking. No matter
how you fix yourself and what manners or personality
you put on, you will never be in control of what
your date will think or feel about the date, so
set that unnecessary stress aside. Instead, shift
your focus about what you will think about him
or her. Observe everything about them. Do YOU
like their appearance? Does their personality
appeal to YOU? Do YOU feel that you are making
a good connection? As you can see, it is what
you think that is important here, because you
are the one looking for the right person, as well
as certain qualities. Leave what they think, up
to them!
The fear of being single forever can cloud your
good judgment, causing you to continue seeing
a person who you know you are not entirely satisfied
with. You will do this because you will try to
convince yourself that maybe you have been too
picky and being with anybody, even if you are
not crazy about him or her, is better than nobody.
Stop lying to yourself! You do not have to get
stuck with someone you are not entirely happy
with, nor do you have to be single forever. Being
honest and up front from the beginning is what
will get you where you want to be and whom you
want to be with. Do not worry that you may scare
off someone by telling him or her exactly what
expectations you have and how serious of a relationship
you are looking for. Look at this way, if they
get scared that quickly, then it is a sign that
they were not looking for the same thing as you
are, so it saves you time and you can then move
on to dating someone else.
As long as you get real with yourself, stop making
excuses, know what your really want, stick to
it and make it clear to the people that you date,
then you will be safe from too many mixed messages,
misunderstandings and frustrations. When you treat
your goal of meeting the right person seriously
and important, then you will stay motivated to
find him or her, and when you do- you will finally
be able to begin the kind of relationship that
you have always longed for, needed and deserve.
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