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There are few people left in America who are not completely,
unabashedly addicted to The Apprentice. The backstabbing.
The brown-nosing. The hair.
I admit it. I'm one of them.
Of course, one of the things that makes the show and Donald
Trump himself so appealing, is that patience isn't really
his strong suit and he makes no effort to tiptoe around the
facts. You don't pull your weight and you're fired. You use
bad manners and you're fired. You do something stupid, and,
yes, you're fired.
So, I got to thinking. What if we dated like Donald Trump?
Think about it. You'd assemble your top dating candidates
for a little head-to-head competition. Would any of the candidates
on The Apprentice show up late or forget to call? I don't
think so. Why? Because they know that if they did, they'd
be history and a bunch of other wanna-bes would be delighted
to see them go. The same would be true for dating.
You could assemble ten fabulously qualified eligibles for
a month-long date-off. Every week would involve a different
dating task, like playing a 7-hour Yahtzee marathon with your
parents and crazy Aunt Leona, mall shopping for a dress to
wear to your third cousin Mildred's wedding, negotiating a
quiet exit in a nightclub where your ex has made a surprise
visit, and the bonus round, providing the correct answer to
the question, "Does this outfit make my butt look big?"
All the while, candidates would be judged on good manners,
restaurant choices and the ability to make your toes curl.
And, at the end of each week, you'd call a few of the screw-ups
into the boardroom (or maybe the bedroom) and let somebody
go.
If you really want to weed out the riffraff, go ahead and
enlist your very own George and Carolyn to keep an eye on
the candidates, offer opinions and report back on any goof-ups.
Why date like The Donald? First, it's efficient. Why go through
one lousy date at a time when you can date in bulk? Second,
it's easier to see who the really great candidates are (and
who is the best fit for you) when you can compare them side-by-side.
With traditional dating, you may not realize that old flame
from college really was the perfect match for you (six or
seven years too late, after they've already been scooped up
by somebody else.) And last, well, it just seems like a heck
of a way to spend the summer.
And at the end of it all, you'll not only end up with someone
who's perfect for you, but also with someone who clearly wants
to be there.
Do it right, and you'll never again have to say, "You're
selfish in bed, you're a lousy dresser, and my Aunt Leona
isn't too crazy about you. You're fired."
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly in love
with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less.
At bookstores everywhere.
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and Ricki Lake.
Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of
man-snagging techniques, at www.stopgettingdumped.com
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